There is a point at which I am ready to say “I’m done.”

At this point, I face all my distractions, and I say “I’m done.”  I face my confusion, and I say, “I see you, and you can’t stop me”.  And I face my exhaustion and my strong inner sensations and I say you are not all.  And I find that glimpse of the sky and me under it and say “You are real”.  I will work with my sensations and choose to go for a walk and step into what is hard, but necessary for me to open; at that same point that I could collapse.

The moment is the same, and I have a choice.  This moment can either mean trauma, or it can mean a step forward.  Collapsing and moving are choices from the same thing.  Not choices in a cognitive kind of way.  If I go cognitive and override what is here to act, then I am back where I was before.  Treating life, my most important parts with override.

Instead, its this near impossible form of moving forward, with all.  Breathing into, allowing, feeling the powerful sensations and emotions – those that would otherwise make me collapse – and taking steps, very very small and compassionate steps forward.

I honor myself by honoring my sensations & experiences as my own, but also finding that somewhere that I am also something else.  So much bigger and more secure.

And I walk, where I could have collapsed.

Everything is perception.

4 Principles that Help Me Deeply

1. 100% Responsibility – especially in the most impossible things

2. Boundaries – I am not responsible for other people’s emotions.

3. Easter – I am something that is more than what I thought, transfiguring

4.  Grief instead of Dissociation – Feel it, allow it, build a body that can allow; but don’t totally believe it