The morning is the most precious, young part of myself and my day.  My inspiration is there.  My tender, timid, softest opening is there.  Life force flows there.

I find when I am holding onto information and content, its because I can’t yet find myself.  When I touch that inside, I can easily begin to let go.

This is how I decide what I am doing now. Its how I devote my attention.

I start with what is most important to me. For people, it’s who do I want to devote attention to right now. Not who needs it. Or who is banging on my window. But who do I need, and want, to devote attention to right now. What relationships, what conversations, what areas of really being honest are most important to me now. How do I catalyze those conversations, those exchanges and interactions now.

I never did it this way, I always responded to where the attention and noise was. Not what was needed by me.

This shift is this awareness that I have often put my attention, and my deepest sacred parts and self, into places and people that are not ready for that trust. I was young and some crucial relationships were looking to be held and cared for by people who had their own traumas, their own limits and needs. And I, didn’t yet know or discover, or arrive at the health and resources in myself, to see that I have the choice to live my life in a way that I am caring more and more for myself, and more and more surrounding myself with people who have that floor, who have done that work, or found themselves in places where they can trust. And so, I devote myself to my self-care. I build a spiritual practice and community where I take and care for my deepest questions and opening to healing. And I decide, I put my priorities first. First with those who nourish my life. I put my deepest trust and intimacy in those who we build a shared dance of learning, caring, and intimacy. And I let them go, build the ability to let go, so that they can go off and continue to be themselves and grow. And I don’t start the other way.

So each morning I decide and look, where do I put my attention relationally, and I start there. Everyone will figure out their own way. They will figure it out especially when I am honest about resonating where I am, and how I relate, through my own authentic experience. And what you put attention to grows. I and others will seek that out, by following that area of light, and we will find the relationships we need and the discussions we need to have.

It is not avoiding. Because important, difficult discussions also need to happen. But I do it with a knowing (a greater knowing) of who I am and how I care for me.

I can feel the shift. Its never been this way before.